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A very happy birthday! Very honored to know such a great brother like you.
All the best Richard!
- Mood:
happy
Past few days, have been asking God "God, you called me to be a worship leader but i have not even been given a chance to sing even as a bv. How am i supposed to be a worship leader then? "
This desire in me has been on for around 3 years and truthfully, seeing that it isn't really progressing is really kind of disturbing and tiring.. I started asking myself, "is this really what God has called me to do? am i on the right path?" Seeing my friends slowly rising up, some don't even desire to be a bv but they got the position.. My hopes were really dashed at a point of time...
During mock cell group in SOT, I was given a chance to lead praise and worship.. The comments I got were "Wow, are you a cell group leader? Have you been leading praise for quite some time? or I could really sense God's prescence. I felt like crying." All these comments really lifted my spirit up.. But again, it dawned upon me.. If people could say all these good things about me, how come I'm still where I am now?
But today, Pastor Tan preached a superb message.. I now know that I have not been given a chance yet because God is still moulding me... Prior to this evening, I was talking to God and God spoke to me saying "Clarence, I know you are tired and disappointed. I know you have been trying your best to really rise up to be a worship leader. People might not see you as one yet but everyday when you worship Me, to Me, you are a worship leader." WOW! When i heard this, i immediately sms Lester, Vincent and Aswin..
I believe in God's timing and I believe that if He has called me to do something, He will definately make it come to pass..
Friends, maybe today you are clinging onto some promises and you feel like giving up.. Don't! I believe that as you cling on, God will make it come to pass for you too..
PS: I've been growing in Choir.. Now a helper in choir... Growing in SOT choir too.. Now going to take over SOT Choir.. Indeed, slowly but surely, I'm making my way there =) Praise the LORD!
Planetshakers - I Just Want You
More than a nice melody,
More than the sweetest of words,
This is the love i have found,
and with this love i am found
I just want You Jesus,
I just want You my Lord,
I just want You Jesus,
I just want You
Never could i comprehend,
The love you so freely give,
Never could i be with you,
But Your love covers all of my sin
There is no greater love than Yours,
Nothing else could ever compare,
And even if i search all the world
I will never find a love like Yours
Well, I just heard this song on tuesday and trust me.. It is super nice.. Straight away I was so blown away. It was like I immediately went into the HOH..
But something has been bothering me all these while.. Feel that I'm unable to focus..
It has come to a point whereby I don't even know who I feel comfortable to share this with..
Did not even share with my 2 best friends Aswin and Vincent..
Shared with a guy.. but apparently till now, he doesn't wanna reply me..
Kind of a typical behavior of his.. Really not pinning much hope that he would talk to me about it because during my previous problem, he also never reply..
My heart seems to be playing a fool with me.. I don't know which emotion I should trust..
I know I should control my emotions but when it comes to love, really hard..
Would you go ahead with something even if your friend gets hurt or would you rather yourself being the one who gets hurt?
I rather choose the latter.. but somehow, when it opposes your heart, you kind of want to hold on to it..
Don't really know what I wanna do next.. Hopefully time will be able to solve this situation of mine..
Before ending, here are some pics I took over the past few days =)
- Mood:
confused
Well, past week, didn't manage to get into SOT BV.. felt really dejected and disappointed because it has always been one of my goals to get into SOT BV...
I started to pray to God and asking for a 2nd chance.. and it happened today!
Today, they had an audition for people who missed the 1st audition.. Technically speaking, those who went for the 1st one, cannot go for the 2nd one..
It all happened when I just went over to help out.. Went to help some of the people with their singing and encouraging them..
Soon, it was left with the last team and I was still there.. So someone actually approached me and ask me if I was going for the audition.. So I told him that I went for the previous audition already...
So he just said "Do you want to go again?"
I said "I thought those who went the previous audition cannot go again?"
he said "Actually, cannot.. but doesn't matter.. just go"
My prayers were answered and I got my 2nd chance!
but before I could even practice, the team had to go in and sing already.. With totally no preparation, no confidence, I went in... And I blew my chances.. I was too nervous.. I stuttered, I couldn't breathe and my vocals were totally off pitch and key..
Worst singing ever!
Nevertheless, still wanna thank God because even if I didn't get in this time, it doesn't matter.. I wasn't supposed to be given this 2nd chance but I was and for that, I'm already luckier than alot of people who only got to go once...
All I have to do now is improve on my vocals and really overcome my stagefright..
Only way to do that is to be on stage more often and I hope I would have the opportunity =)
- Mood: content
Hmm.. past few days, i'm felt like I was being put to a test.. A test of brotherhood and dream...
What if your bro lived your dream ?
What would you do ?
Been in a struggle for the past few days because that is what happened to me..
He didn't do it intentionally but nevertheless, it happened..
I believe to many, it is really a tough choice to make.. just like for me..
Brotherhood or dream?
Constantly battling in my mind.. my emotions..
But in the end,brotherhood is what I really treasure..
Dreams are what I want to do.. What I hope for and what I wish for..
Yes, they are important to me.. but it is not worth losing a friend over it..
The day will come where it will be my turn to shine..
I know, one day, i will be delivered to where I'm supposed to be =)
But right now, i should be proud of my bro for being able to make it all the way there..
I will help you all the way till you hit the finishing line..
Friends are something you can find anywhere.. But Brothers are people who have been with you through thick and thin.. It is not easy to be branded a brother.. but I know I chose each of my bros correctly.. =)
- Mood: thankful
Most of you would know that this is a song from my church.. A song that I really like..
But this post is more of my own interpretation of this title..
Well, everyday as I live my life, I wonder.. Everything I do, what meaning is there ?
Playing games.. what meaning does that bring to my life ?
Movies ?
Studies ?
Blogging ?
So many things i've been doing but none of it seems to have a deeper meaning...
Most of the time, everything is done for my own entertainment..
Then, I was reminded that everything I do, I do because I'm a living testimony of how great God is..
There is no lyrics more powerful than the ones people see with their own eyes..
I am like God's song.. Every part of my life is a lyric that God wrote..
In order for the song to be written correctly, to be sung at its best, the only thing I have to do is to walk the path God has guided me to..
When I go up to heaven, I would want to see the song that God has written for me.. I believe it will be the best song i've ever heard.. =)
- Mood: grateful
Wow.. On Sat 11 Apr 2009, The Straits Times had an article on City Harvest Church! I am so amazed at how impactful our church is...
We are truely shining for God in Singapore.. Here is a glimpse of the article.. For full info, guess you need to get your hands on the Straits Times... =)
By Yen Feng
FROM theatrical drama to a solemn candle-lit procession, Christians yesterday commemorated the death of Jesus Christ on Good Friday.
The different styles marked the diversity of local churches here, from mega-churches to smaller, community parishes.
Bethesda Cathedral, Trinity Christian Centre and City Harvest Church, with more than 34,000 followers, yesterday staged large-scale productions centred on the theme of love and forgiveness.
At the Singapore Expo last evening, City Harvest Church, a charismatic church, staged The Final Solution, a drama about Jesus' crucifixion, with the help of 150 volunteers who worked as actors, ushers and costume-makers.
More than 8,000 church-goers filled the hall, wired with giant LCD screens, cameras and a surround-sound system.
The free performance is expected to draw more than 50,000 people over the Easter weekend.
The high-energy production was in contrast to a more sombre ceremony taking place downtown.
At Singapore's oldest Roman Catholic Church in Victoria Street, parishioners re-enacted a centuries-old Portuguese Good Friday ritual - the removal of Christ's body from the cross after the crucifixion.
St Joseph's Church, which was built in 1912, is said to have been founded by Portuguese settlers between 1851 and 1853.
Last night, more than 4,000 people attended the church's ceremony.
- Mood: happy
Happy for Wenglok.. He got into SOT BV!
Happy for Vincent... Lead in Children Church Easter!
- Mood: confused
After SOT, everyone takes their own sweet time loitering around.. In the end, I ask them where they going, they all say home..
After cell group, everyone also heads home.. the couples will go out together..
After service, we would go and have lunch.. and everyone goes their seperate ways...
Hopefully the this week wont be like that.. or else, im gonna go mad! lol
- Mood:
bored
It really got me thinking..
Scientist believe that the universe was created due to the big bang... Nothing collide with Nothing to produce the universe.. Haha.. Really makes no sense to me..
Living and non living things.. Appearing from nowhere on earth.. How did they come about? How were they created?
Some people say animals, plants and humans all evolved to be in the current state we are at.. Then how did the previous creatures that evolve to us came about?
Where did logic come about? Why is there good and evil? Why do we know that theft, robbery, murder etc are bad? When was it defined? Who defined it?
So many things came through my mind..
I believe that there is a God that created everything from scratch.. and that God is the God I Know =)
I've been a buddhist since birth and every time when I step into the temple, I don't feel anything.. Neither do I see the idols in the temple providing for me in my life..
Alot of people asked me this, "Clarence, you have beeren a buddhist since birth, why suddenly become a Christian?"
Well, the reason is simple.. Because when I step into the church, I feel so loved.. I feel the peace and the church is so relevant.. It's such a cool place to be that's why I keep going..
Most of all, I can see God providing for me, God pulling me through tough times.. His words encouraging me.. His presence bringing me peace.. and my destiny..
Guess, all I can do is tell people why I love church and God so much.. No one will truely understand till they feel the power of God.. or give God a chance to move in their lives.. but I'm Super grateful to Vincent for bringing me to CHC.. =)
Can't wait for SOT tml! Believing that it would be a greater session! Amen!
Been helping most of them in different ways.. Acting as their cell group member when they are rehersing and all that but today, it was so different.. God suddenly place this image in my head.. It's like I have been doing it but I have never realised it till today..
It became so clear what I was doing.. Using my abilities to not only be able to serve God but to help and to teach the members.. Today, was supposed to practice my singing cause really inspired to try-out for SOT BV so contacted Vincent.. But ended up helping Joy..
As I sang, and seeing what I was doing, I felt so empowered.. I might not be a worship leader but definately, what I've learnt in choir helped alot.. Being able to hit the correct key was really a major thing..
I used to think alot of people can do that but right now, I feel that it is actually not easy as I struggle with it a few times today..
Though I wasn't given my chance to practice the songs I wanted today, I took back something which was so much more valuable.. I believe the skills I learn in choir would help me empower the members in their singing..
One day, everyone will be of 1 voice Praising and Worshipping God...
To close this, just wanna encourage the people reading this post..
You might feel that the skill you possess is common or it is something small.. but you never know how God will move in your life.. Neither will you know how this skill would actually empower another person.. so just continue practicing, enhancing and improving that skill.. =)
- Mood:
accomplished
Well, yesterday for the first time, went out with the Choir guys.. We watched "Paul Blart Mall Cop"
After the show, we walked down to Selegie to eat beancurd! Woohoo.. It's like a tradition.. Once go Dhoby, must go Selegie.. Haha.. 20 guys, you can imagine how long we took to find seats there.. we took ... 5 mins only! haha.. but we sat at the alley so yea.. Haha.. After taking down the orders, we just continued with our nonsense.. Haha.. As usual, He Xing is there so yea.. not much explanation is needed why the conversation was so nonsense.. =x
This outing really made me know more people and got to know them alot better.. which is a really good thing.. Hope to have more of this type of outings =)
Oh ya.. Highlight of the night for me was that a flying cockroach kiss me! haha.. ok.. not really kiss.. just flew onto my shirt.. haiz.. lol.. but overall, really loved the whole outing.. Can't wait for the next one!
PS: Thanks Justin for organising the event.. Thanks Frankie for the treat =)
- Mood: cheerful
Story actually starts from last week when Vincent asked me out for a movie.. From that day on, he started to invite people I know to help celebrate my birthday for me..
On the actual day which was yesterday, I met up with Willy and his readers for dinner before heading down to meet Vincent.. Everything went on quite smoothly for me that day but had some suspicion that something was going to happen..
While heading to Orchard Taka, a girl approached me and gave me her name card, asking me to be a MODEL! I was like.. Oh my God.. Is this for real? I have never seen myself as someone so good looking or buff that people would actually approach me.. I just took the name card and told her I'll consider.. and left...
After meeting Vincent and Wenglok, Vincent said he had to go buy a gift for his drama friend "Ricko"... So we walked around Taka for quite some time and because our movie starts at 8:25pm, we rushed down upon seeing the time was 8:20pm.. So we made our way down to Cathay Cineleisure..
When we reached Cineleisure, they had to go to level 8 KBox to pass to "Ricko" his present so I tagged along and went up.. As we walked inside the KBox, suddenly, A BIG BOLD GUY GRABS ME INTO THE ROOM! HAH
People there were Aswin, Vincent, Wenglok, Lester, ZhengYang, Joycelyn, Santy, Samuel, Judee, Jinglong, Karen, Quelyn and Jeremy..
Really very happy that my Bros were there to celebrate for me.. No words can describe how I felt because in my whole 21 years, this is the best celebration I have ever had...
We started singing our hearts out and man, you should see the talented singers there.. Wenglok, Vincent and Lester brought the roof down.. Haha.. They are really such talented singers and I believe each of us are great in singing, just in different aspects of it.. Come to think of it, all my bros can sing! Haha..
Though I can't take back the feelings I had before, this event definately brightened up my day.. I believe this memory will last way longer than any others..
I have never regretted stepping into City Harvest Church and right now, it just confirms that feeling once again.. God told me 3 Years ago that he would put a best friend around me.. but seeing today, God has gone above and beyond and provided me with not just best friends but true and close brothers..
Though presents to me are a big thing, memories to me are a bigger thing.. I know the situation all of us are in but the fact that they would go the extra mile for me, really touches my heart..
Really wanna thank Vincent and Wenglok for planning this birthday for me.. It has really changed my life alot.. More than you guys can imagine.. Wanna thank Aswin for the cake and of course, the people who attended... You guys have made an impact in my life..
To sum it all up, here's what I got for my birthday:
- Puma Belt
- Pierre Cardin Wallet
- $100
- Bookmark
- Earpiece
- 2 Shirts
- Loads of cake
Believe it or not, every most of it was from people in church.. That goes to show which group of friends treasure me more =)
Oh ya.. most unexpected gift was from the TD guys.. Kenneth, Guang Liang, Yao Yong, Alim and Anthony.. Never in a million years would i expect them to give me something but they did.. Really appreciate it guys.. Though we aren't that close and I don't think I've helped u that much at all but you guys still gave me a gift.. Thanks so much
- Mood:
surprised
Past few days, been looking around.. Looking at my friends.. Really very happy that they are leading such a fruitful life.. A life that is towards their calling, towards their desires and towards love..
Seeing them so successful and happy really makes me so contented.. I'm so happy for them...
Vincent: Model - Seeing him train the other zone members how to be a good model really shows me how much he has grown and learnt as a model
Guitarist - Helping to play the guitar for different leaders, to people who are called to lead in Praise and Worship, and to people who inspire to be lead or BV like me.. He has truely touched the lives of many people and helped them discover different talents and skills..
Aswin: Soccer - Being made as the vice captain of the ET team in the harvest league.. Playing such an important role in the team and not only that, being such a great evangelist as he communicates and meets the needs of the new friends in the team.. He has truely inspired me to really do more for the kingdom... Seeing him grow so much till the person he is today, he has proven his leadership skills and I believe, he would definately make a great cell group leader..
Guitarist - Slowly but surely, he takes the time and effort to enhance his guitar skills really shows the passion he has for his craft.. I believe as he continues perfecting his skills, he would definately rise up to be a great guitarist as well
So many people doing so many great things.. and being able to glorify God with their talents and gifts..
Karen - N415 representative for Ms ET, Great in Drama and Singing, Rising Cell Group Leader.
Lester - N415 representative for Mr ET, Camp Pheonomena Best Male Camper, Borned Leader, Great Singer.
Joycelyn - Ultimate Make-up artist, Superb singer, Rising Cell Group Leader
Willy - Great Character, Great Discipline, Great Singer, Rising Cell Group Leader
Brynner - Most ultimate male singer I know, Great Personality
Samuel - Great Character, Servanthood, Rising Connect Group Leader
Jeremy - Great Guitarist, Great Singer
All having a desire, be it BV, Cell Group Leader or Guitarist.. All of them are all heading towards where God is leading them and I am super happy for them.. Don't know why, but seeing them happy, makes me really happy..
Great work guys and gals.. I believe you would soar with eagles' wings...
- Mood: happy
As usual.. Went to blog hop around.. Stumbled upon Jeremy's blog and decided to do the quiz he did.. This is the result.. This goes to show, what you choose is not by chance but it is because of your nature..
Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?Your views on education
You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.Fusion Week
Well, since wednesday, have been real busy with the booths.. Running here and there, listening to complains.. Really kind of annoying sometimes.. People don't wanna help but they just wanna complain when something does not go their way.. Real idiots..
Anyway, was supposed to meet Aswin but had to rush back to school because they needed urgent help from me.. Seriously, what does a guy have to do to have the freedom to go out? Can't people just put their things aside and help? All everyone thinks about is just themselves.. In the end, the person having to sacrifice is once again me.. The stupid sucker that everyone takes for granted...
Upon fusion day, still have to run here and there.. Can't even stay at my booth and take care of it.. So stupid.. Might as well I don't pay.. It's as if I have no booth at all.. 3 Days passed real soon.. Almost everyone in DET felt that the fusion show was more for the DMD people.. So yea, most of us went to the computer labs and played games instead..
Birthday
The last day of fusion fell on my birthday.. Not just any birthday, but my 21st birthday.. Really bumped out about it.. Some people didn't even remembered..
Anyway, was touched by the Church members who came down to school to surprise me..
To say the truth, don't really feel like blogging about it anymore...
As you can see, there aren't any pictures so you probably know that my 21st birthday didn't happen...
What happens when it is the planner's birthday? Answer: No celebration because no one else plans stuff..
Seeing the presents people get on their 19th, 20th, 22nd, 24th birthday.. I can easily say, mine is quite disappointing.. People can spend so much on other people's birthday but not mine.. so much effort to plan other people's birthday but not mine.. Goes to show how much I mean to them, how much they appreciate me..
I shall not blog any more.. Don't really have the mood..
- Mood: disappointed
